Less is More

Nothing compares to running. Long bike rides are satisfying, hard swim workouts leave me refreshed, but nothing provides that “runner’s high” unique to running. I especially love it on cold mornings for some crazy reason. My car thermometer read 16 degrees when I left to drive to the Lee High School track at 7am this morning. And it was exhilarating—running through clouds of my breath, feeling the warmth of my body (once I warmed up!) in contrast to the freezing air outside, inhaling deep breaths of that frosty air into my lungs…I am convinced that the endorphin fix that I experience from running can be as powerful as any drug. And because, until this week, I have not actually run since the 6 miles I did on October 24th, my body has been experiencing some intensely painful withdrawal symptoms these last 3+ months.

Running and I have had a tumultuous relationship from the start. I think some people have genetics on their side when it comes to running; I do not. I do not come from a family of runners. I can remember having frequent injuries as far back as middle school track. Back then it was irritation in my achilles. In high school I had painful tendonitis on the back of my knee, probably from running ridiculous numbers of stair repeats during indoor track season in our 3 story school on concrete floors. Later in high school and into college I had a perpetual case of shin splints and pain that occasionally felt like a stress fracture in my shin. When I trained for my first marathon in 2004, I had all kinds of knee trouble and ended up getting a “J brace” to help push my right knee cap back into place because it was rubbing on the bone on the side. I went to shoe fitters, sports med doctors, physical therapists, runner friends who could offer advice…I bought different shoes, ankle supports, 3 different knee braces, various shoe inserts…all in an attempt to run injury free, all because the drug of running is so addictive. I moved to Jackson, started doing more cross training like swimming and cycling, and miraculously, I had about 3 years of injury free running. It was amazing. I did speed work, I got faster and stronger, and I began to believe that I am a runner after all.

Then we moved to Staunton, the hilliest place on the face of the earth. And my joints and tendons went into open rebellion.

I have been injured pretty much since we moved here. First it was my right hip flexor, probably a result of the strain from running down these steep hills. I decreased intensity and reduced mileage, and that eventually got better. Then the outside of my right ankle was killing me, probably from the uneven terrain of the trails at Montgomery Hall Park. So I stopped trail running, and it felt better. But then my right knee started hurting with a pain I had never experienced. It began after a 6 mile run up and down the hills at Charles’s parents’ house on Christmas Day 2009. Something inside me knew that course was a bad idea, but we were all stir crazy, so I went anyway. I think that was the beginning of the end.

The insane amount of snow we got last winter prevented us from riding our bikes outside for several months, so in an effort to combat our ever-increasing self-diagnosed Seasonal Affective Disorder, Charles and I decided to begin training for the Charlottesville Marathon. We also signed up for the Charlottesville 10 miler. My knee never felt 100% on our long runs, and eventually I had to come to terms with the reality that I was injured beyond what I could just “run through” as I had with so many previous injuries. I began physical therapy in March and learned more than I ever wanted to know about all the weird imbalances I have. I also learned that the problem was not my knee but all the muscles and tendons around it. It then occurred to me that the horseshoe shaped hole in my right quad from when I got kicked in 8th grade may be a big part of why I have so many problems on my right side. Who knew?!

Looking back, I made all kinds of mistakes last spring and summer that combined to force me to take 3+ months completely off from running recently. I acknowledged my injury and made some attempt to heal by going to PT, but I never took time off to rest. I thought the Charlottesville 10 miler was so important that I wasn’t going to let anything stop me from running it, not even the fact that in the months leading up to it, I ran 10 miles on January 23rd and then did not run more than 5 miles until the race on April 3rd, some weeks without running at all. Then I blew through 10 miles in 1:19:59, my fastest 10 miler time yet. Felt satisfying at the time. And I have regretted that decision ever since.

My big race of the season was the Patriot’s Half which wasn’t until SEPTEMBER. I look back now and just wonder what I was thinking! The 10 miler was so inconsequential to the rest of the season, yet it ended up dictating my ability to train all year and even now. I ran with on and off pain throughout 2010 until late October, after 2 half ironman races within 3 weeks (another one of those “what was I thinking” decisions), when I decided this was crazy and I chose to stop running altogether. It was a difficult decision but perhaps the best one I’ve made in all the years I have been running.

Now I am back to square one physically, but I am realizing it is a good place to be. Of course getting to this place took many tears and angry, childish outbursts, but I am now better prepared to take care of my body this year. My big race is not until August 28th. There is no need to rush into training only to be injured again. With the incredible support of Charles, I took two full weeks off completely in January after several weeks of already decreased exercise. Once my hamstring and lower leg pain was completely gone, I eased back into some swimming and cycling. Last Sunday I tried running again, just four 400s on the rubberized track with 400m of walking in between each. Today I tried four 800s, again with walking in between each. Perhaps in the next few weeks I will try to run an entire mile continuously. This is requiring a tremendous amount of self-control!

Right now I am often completely overwhelmed by the idea of finishing the entire Ironman in August at this rate, but in some ways, if I am able to do it, this experience will make it feel like even more of an accomplishment and a journey toward personal growth. I want to get out of the typical triathlete trap of "more is more" and "if I take time off, I'll never get my fitness back." The sport of triathlon attracted me not only because swimbikerun is fun, but because I recognize so many parallels between the sport and real life. I am excited to discover what life lessons my training this year will teach me.